I had a date tonight with a lawyer who took me to a dinner in Hollywood for alumni from law school. I do not feel at liberty to post on my public blog how I ended up on a date with this man. Suffice it to say that the entire thing was beyond weird.
It was a nice affair so I was wearing a pair of stilettos (this will be significant, so keep it in mind). The venue was one of those super trendy places in LA, with really dim lighting and bizarre light fixtures and furniture. A lady met us as we came in and I immediately got the impression that this wasn't a "bring a date" kind of affair. She asked me if I'd RSVPed, and my date announced that I was with him. She was very nice, completely unruffled and asked me to please write my name on a blank tag since she didn't have one typed up for me. The lady with the blank tags asked me my name and graduation year. I should have made a year up, but it didn't occur to me to do so at the time. She gave me kind of a weird look when I said, "Oh I didn't attend law school, I'm here with someone..." She still made me wear a name tag. So sporting my name tag I rejoined my date who had fallen into conversation with someone who was just finishing off a drink from the open bar. The guy invited us to accompany him back to the bar for another drink and my date said "great, a drink sounds really good." It does???? We get over to the bar and my date then made up some weak excuse about how he forgot money to tip the bartender, so he wasn't going to have anything after all.
This whole time there were a couple of old lawyers hovering around the bar, one in particular who was blatantly staring at me. I mean STARING. It was uncomfortable, because he was standing right next to my date, so every time I looked over there I couldn't help but see this guy watchig me, and he would give me a big smile when he caught me glancing at him. My date was completely oblivious to this man who I will now referr to as PE (Perv eyes. Ladies, I know that you all know exactly what I'm talking about). The organizers of the event did a raffle drawing, some little updates from the school, and then they asked everyone to move into the other room to take a group picture.
I sort of held back, because why in the world would they want me in the picture. Some lady came bustling up and said "Come on, we want you in this picture too." So I figured what the heck, who will ever know. I hustled right up to the picture crowd and they told me that since I'm a little shorter than the men to please stand in the very front and help hold up the school banner. So there I am, front and center holding up a school banner in each and every picture. Keep in mind that there were probably only 20 people there, maybe 30.
Unfortunately, PE was right behind me, since he's a short squatty kind of guy. Old too. As soon as the pictures were done I turned around and there he was, I mean RIGHT there. Standing very close to me, and there was simply no escape. My date had already bumped into someone he knew from school and had moved away so I was trapped with PE. He had no respect for my personal space and leaned right in as he shook my hand and asked what firm I work for. Again, why am I not a better liar? I told him, "oh, I'm not a lawyer." He actually seemed to like that response, and asked how many years of law school I completed. I think he was confused with my response "I didn't go to law school. I just have a Bachelors in history." It didn't put him off at all, in fact I think he was encouraged because he was standing so close that I could smell his liquor breath which was grossed me out. After a few more minutes of polite chit-chat I finally managed to politely excuse myself to go find my date...who was completely oblivious to all of this.
My date was just finishing up talking to his buddy (who he lied to and told him he'd handed out all of his business cards, when he'd already told me that he'd just forgotten to bring them) and asked me if there was someone there I would like to meet before we leave for dinner. Who would I want to meet at a social for his alma mater? I told him about PE and said I'd rather just book it out of there. He's a guy, so I don't think he really understood what I was talking about when I said that the PE creeped me out.
My date wanted to take me to a Sushi place called the Geisha House just a few blocks up from Sunset. Unfortunately he made me WALK. He said it was maybe 2 blocks. Two blocks in heels, don't love it, but I can handle it. Try 7 or 8 blocks. I have blisters.
We get seated and the waitress came around with the wine list and started talking. My date said to her "actually we just came from an event with an open bar, so I think we've had plenty to drink already." He's such a liar, I think it's weird. Just tell her "no thanks." Anyway, it was one of those super trendy LA places, again the dim lighting, weird furniture and strange zombie kind of music in the background that my date visibly bobbed his head to throughout the meal.
Dinner was really good although my date raved about how great the sushi was and I thought that it really was only slightly better than the stuff Trish and I get at the little hole in the wall place in HB. Thankfully he was thoughtful enough to hail a taxi to take us back to the car so that I didn't have to walk the whole way back.
We started driving home, and we were chatting about something...can't even remember what, when he suddenly announced that he forgot all about the fuel indicator light being on and we were going to run out of gas any minute. We did manage to make it to a gas station before that happened but there were a few tense moments there where neither of us were talking, just staring at the gas gauge.
All in all it was a very weird evening, but I kind of enjoyed it.
3 comments:
OK, I'm sorry if this sounds judgmental, but I think it is SO inconsiderate to take a date to a non-date event. It is just a recipe for awkwardness for that person. I think he mistreated you, honestly. Kind of makes me mad.
Oh, I don't think there's any question that he did. I still managed to have a good time. I was wishing that I was more like Jared and could just make stuff up on the fly. I think I lack that spur of the moment creativity. I need time to formulate something good. Then there's my date who is just a bold-faced liar.
That is a funny story! I can imagine it being weird for you though. I think anywhere in Hollywood is weird even if I grew up relatively close to it in La Canada and Pasadena.
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