Movies

For the most part I've given up on watching movies. This all started when I went to see The Family Stone, and I hated it. Walking out of that movie I decided that Hollywood has lost it's ability to entertain, so I stopped going to see movies.

I've become pretty firmly entrenched in my belief that movies should all feature pretty people, and have happy endings. If the storyline requires some traumatic incident to occur along the way, that should be adequately compensated for by a happy (even if it's unrealistic) ending. The exceptions to this are that the actors can be unattractive if they are making up for it with humor (think Bill Murray), and the movie ending can avoid being "happy" as long as it's at least satisfactory, and I am left to believe that the villain ended up paying at the end, and everyone went on to lead happy, fulfilling lives.

I've decided that unless we're talking about a documentary, or some sort of educational film, movies sole function should be to serve as an escape from reality. I don't want to pay money to watch unattractive people involved in personal struggles, tragedies, and/or family drama. Movies are supposed to be an escape from reality into a fantasy land where the characters are involved in such a riveting tale of comedy, adventure, and triumph that I can't even tear my eyes away from the screen long enough to allow for a thought of the real world to flit across my mind. For example, the first time I saw Frequency I got nervous and started shovelling licorice into my mouth so fast that I left the theater feeling a little odd, having just accidentally consumed approximately half a pound of black licorice. (I did the same thing during a football game once and discovered that if you eat too many baby carrots it will stain your teeth orange.)

This weekend someone persuaded me to watch a movie that was all about a grief-stricken father who just got word that his wife died in Iraq. It was horrible, boring, and has served to reinforce in my mind that movies about painful life experiences are a waste.