Stories from Underwriting...

Underwriter Andrew has been oddly quiet this week. Except for some horrible noise he made the other day in the middle of a sneeze, that immediately generated this email from Steve:

"OH MY *#$%*#$! Did you hear that? That was the most disgusting sneeze I have ever heard!"

It really was gross, kind of a gagging noise in the middle of the sneeze, and it was very loud. It was pretty late in the morning, and I think I was more asleep than awake when it happened because it made me jump.

My boss bought a whole cannister of Red Vines and placed them on the filing cabinet directly across from mine & Steve's cubicles. As a result we've been seeing a lot more of Andrew lately. Steve sent me this email a while back:

"In my mind, he definitely lives in a trailer. After work, he sits outside with a beer while soaking his feet in an inflatable pool."

After getting a good look at him a few times this week I've decided that Steve may have hit the nail on the head. I've been trying to figure out a way to get a picture of him for my blog, but I haven't come up with any good ideas yet.

Andrew did engage in a very interesting, personal discussion with his girlfriend on the phone yesterday. I was away from my desk, and just came back to him saying "...well I'm sorry, but all I'm saying is that it really hurt my feelings. I have just been really hurt..." The girfriend had to go abruptly so neither Steve or I were ever able to ascertain what it was that had hurt him so much that he couldn't wait until after work to talk to her about it.

Sometimes I feel kind of bad about getting so much amusement out of his life, but I rationalize it by telling myself that it's his own fault for being so loud. I can't help but hear.

Yesterday I saw Andrew meeting a girl from upstairs (I don't know what the people upstairs do exactly, just that they are not skilled positions) for break. I thought maybe it was his girlfriend. I emailed Steve about it today:

Me: "FYI I forgot to tell you that I saw Andrew meeting a girl from upstairs yesterday for break. I wonder if it was the girlfriend."

Steve: "I know who you mean. They sit outside for long stretches during the day. I don't think that is his girlfriend, but that isn't based on any factual information. However, she strangely seems to fit my mental image of who his girlfriend might be...if that makes sense."

Me: "Short, chubby, blonde?"

Steve: "Yeah, she's the one. But she has a certain quality about her that I can't put a name on without feeling a little elitist...okay, white trash. She definitely has a trailer park vibe going on that he shares with her. "

Me: "I'm glad you said it first. I was going to say that she has kind of a trashy look about her, but decided it was too mean and erased it."

Steve: "Well, you've made me feel much better about myself."