Goodbye 2018!

I have to admit that I wasn't sad to see this year close and a new one start.  2018 didn't shape up at all how I had hoped.  We started off buying our first home, and Justin was starting his new job, and that was supposed to be the beginning of a lot of stability for us.  More importantly, a lot of stability for our two kids who haven't enjoyed a whole lot of that in their brief little lives.  It started out pretty good.  We started buying furniture, and settling into our new life.

January 2, 2018 we closed on our first home.  This is the picture we took of ourselves that evening.

Justin had a few little business trips here and there, but nothing too long, and really it was all going very well.  It was going even better when we found out that I was pregnant.  However, I got sick, and Justin left town.  I got sicker and Justin left town for longer.  

I was so sick at this point when we went back to Logan for Justin's graduation.

Was starting to feel a little bit better here in June when we took a trip to Granby, Colorado with Justin's parents.

Justin was sent away for two months in DC.  The kids and I had to spend a month in Utah doing things for the guard, and then we joined him for a month in DC.  It wasn't the greatest month of my life, or our lives, but we were grateful that we found a way to be together for a month of Justin's two month absence.  It wasn't exactly a miserable experience either.

Enjoying our month together in DC

We came home, and were excited to settle back into our routine.  Justin called me the day after I got back (he was still in DC).  The army called him.  They wanted him to turn around and leave for another four months of training just a few weeks after he got home.  He would not be home for the birth of our baby.  We talked it over.  We didn't like it, but we decided that it would be for the best.

Justin came home, and Justin left again and I can't honestly say that it went over very well with our children.  I can't honestly say that it went over super well with Justin, and I can't honestly say that it went over super well with me.  The internet connection was terrible.  We could video chat and he could see us, but we could never see him, and that was if we could get it to work at all.  The cellphone coverage was even worse.  He could only place phone calls from one spot in his dark little hotel room, or outside of his hotel room, and every phone call dropped at least two or three times, sometimes more.  We all hated it.  

The kids and I did get to come spend Columbus Day with him, but leaving him behind as we headed back to Utah for me to attend drill was horrible.  Ivan sat in the car repeating over and over again "Leaving Dad?!  Leaving Dad?!"  Vivian fell apart, which for her looked like a form of extreme hyper naughtiness, and for Ivan looked like throwing up in a hotel room all night.  

Hiking in Chiricahua National Monument when we visited Justin over Columbus Day.

Now I have to say a big thanks to my in-laws in there who took us to Disneyland, who brought us out to Boise so the kids could go to the Lion King stage production, and let us stay and do Halloween with them.  The distractions were super helpful.  I mean, nothing really makes up for having your dad just a voice over the phone or internet for months on end, but at least it helped.  

Ready for Mickey's Halloween Party

The Lion King

Ivan went as Grandpa Goodale for Halloween

In all of this the pregnancy was progressing along great, and we were putting together a plan for my in-laws to come and have Grandpa watch the kids while Grandma would come with me to the delivery.  Justin had flown home for Thanksgiving weekend, and while his visit was great, his departure again was frankly just more than our little people could handle.  I remain convinced that it was all the coming and going and never staying that finally just became too much for them.  They couldn't do it, and his departure was met with a flood of tears and tantrums.  Justin and I decided shortly thereafter that we would all return with him for the last month of training after Christmas, assuming that the baby and I were healthy.

Our biggest break this year came when I was chatting with my doctor one day, a few weeks before my scheduled induction and asked her if she would let me try and wait just a few more days until Justin could come home.  At our first few appointments this doctor had been somewhat adamant that I be induced right at 39 weeks, and I was asking to try and wait until two days before my due date.  She had also predicted that the baby would show up before 38 weeks.  However, little baby Evalyn was still breech, and since she remained breech the doctor no longer believed that she was going to show up early, and she agreed to let me try and wait it out.  We talked about all the risks, the possibility of an emergency c-section, and such, but she also confided that if she were me, she'd do everything to try and wait for Justin to get here too.

Justin's parents arrived on the 6th.  I breathed a sigh of relief when they arrived.  I still think that Evalyn would have shown up early if they hadn't been there to help me with the other two for that last little stretch.  Evalyn flipped herself on the 13th, and Justin flew in the afternoon of the 15th, and I was induced early the next morning and her dad was there to meet her when she arrived later that afternoon. 

It would be hard to overstate how happy I was to have him home in time to be there for Evalyn's arrival.

Justin's parents had to leave the next morning.  Our kids were beyond excited to have their dad back, they were completely thrown for a loop having a new baby sister, and I couldn't help but note that their lives remained every bit, if not more tumultuous than they had been last year.  

Evalyn is a very loved little sister.

We began 2019 living in a hotel room, on a military base, and as I reflect back on what was kind of a crazy year, I can't help but say that despite the moments that were hard, the weeks and months that were long, and the things that didn't go right, we had a pretty great year.  We have a beautiful home, and we're excited to go home and live in it!  I left the military, and it was so much harder to walk away than I anticipated, but as my wise little Viv reminded me one day when I was feeling bad about it "you got to be a soldier for a long time Mom, and now it's time to just be a Mom."  I suspect she overheard her dad and I discussing it, but it was a poignant, well-timed little reminder why it needed to happen. We watched Vivian go from toddler to kid, and become too smart for her own good, perceptive beyond her years, with an imagination that often leaves us speechless, and does nothing but delight her younger brother. 

She still loves hiking.

 Ivan went from words to phrases, and one of his favorites is "I love you Mom/Dad/Vivian/Evalyn. Great person!"  I think I might not be his favorite anymore, because he loves nothing more than playing with Dad, but I also know that it doesn't matter because really neither Justin or I can compete with Vivian for favorite anyway.  I'm more grateful than I can say that they have each other.  I can't imagine either one of them getting through a year like this alone.  

This is a pretty standard thing with them.  They still hold hands in the car too.

We are also grateful that after a pretty hellish pregnancy, we have a healthy, happy, and beautiful baby Evalyn.  

We remembered this year how grateful we are for the gospel, that binds us together forever, no matter where we are in the world, we'll be a family forever.  We remembered this year that our things don't matter, stuff breaks, and wears out, and ruined vacation plans don't matter, there's always next year (although Justin is determined that this year we're making the most of his time off), but time together at home or away, or even over the phone or crappy internet connection does.  After our first day in the hotel Justin came home from class, and listened to me whine at him about how much I hated being in a hotel room all day with our three small children.  Then as Ivan woke up from his nap and wrapped his arms around his dad as he exclaimed "DAD IS HOME!" all he had to say was, "but doesn't this make it worthwhile?"  It does, it definitely does, but we're still hoping that 2019 is our best year yet, finds us spending more time in our own home, and more time together and we're excited to see what it brings either way!