Food Critics

I got to work the other day and noticed as I was getting situated that the entire contents of one particular filing cabinet drawer was now spilling out of a trash can sitting next to the cabinet. This was the drawer we used to store paper plates, cups, napkins, utensils, etc. I figured that someone must have had a legitimate need for the space and was forced to clean out the drawer. I didn't think much more about it. I also noticed that the trash can at my desk was filled with what appeared to be shredded napkins. Kind of weird, but it never really occurred to me to question why there would be shredded napkins in my trash. Steve decided to bring me up to speed. As he was leaving for the day, he stopped at my desk to inform me that the reason the drawer had been emptied is because someone had discovered a mouse nesting in the drawer. Suddenly the shredded napkins in my trash made sense. He said that I should probably check any food I had at my desk to make sure that a mouse hadn't gnawed through the packaging.

After a very thorough inspection of my food I decided that I'm safe and that none of the items in my food drawer have been compromised by a mouse. However, I figure when we're talking about germy little rodents that it would be in my best interest to clean out my food drawer and only store the items that are in a sealed container (i.e. a jar of peanut butter).

Since this incident I have been forced to carry into work with me everyday the snack items that I plan on consuming while I am there, and then tote them back out to my car after work. I know this doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, but I'm horribly self-concious about it. I attribute my timidity in hauling food in and out of the office to an experience I had one morning when I came walking in with a box of Cheez-its under one arm. A man who I couldn't identify again if I ran him over on the street felt totally comfortable commenting to me as I passed that "I hope you're going to eat more than just crackers for lunch." I tried to smile politely and continue to walk past, but I'm pretty sure that it just came off as a glare, which is what I felt like doing in the first place anyway.

I've observed that for some reason people feel entitled to comment on each other's food. I think it's really rude, and I don't quite understand why I seem to be alone in this opinion. It was one thing when we were elementary school kids commenting on each other's lunches. There was always that bratty child at the table who would shame another kid out of eating something unidentifiable that their mother had prepared with a "Ewww...Gross!!! What is that?! You're going to eat that?" I'm not going to say I wasn't that kid who was too embarrassed to eat something out of my lunchbox a time or two.

That was elementary school, I stupidly expected that adults would be above commenting on other people's food. It's simply not the case. It wasn't too long ago that I sat next to someone in class one night who momentarily transported me back to an elementary school cafeteria when she leaned over, pointing at another girl and whispered "What is that she has in that tupperware container?" When I responded to my classmate that I'm sure it was her dinner, this tactless individual replied that whatever it was it looked disgusting and that she couldn't believe that the owner of the tupperware container would even consider consuming it's contents. I spotted them during a break. The owner of the tupperware container was eating her dinner, while the rudely curious classmate stood watching and questioning "Does it taste good? It doesn't look good." As one would expect the tupperware owner had a look on her face that made me think that she was silently wishing that our classmate would develop a sudden case of lockjaw.

I can't begin to say how many times I've had a roommate come in while I was making something and immediately assume a look of disgusted fascination as they've inquired "What are you eating?" Just yesterday at work a coworker came by my desk just as I was squirting some Easy Cheese on a Triscuit, and felt totally at ease telling me that she thinks Easy Cheese is gross and she doesn't know how I can bear to eat it. I felt like saying "well I wasn't planning on sharing." Instead I smiled and hoped she'd leave soon so I could get back to eating my crackers and cheese in peace.

This morning as I was getting out of my car I reached over to grab a bag of black licorice I had brought with me and immediately was reminded of a conversation I had last week wherein I was informed that black licorice is "old man's candy." I was so absorbed wondering why I seem to be the only one who thinks it's rude to criticize other people's food that I didn't realize until I was almost to my desk that I was holding the licorice bag upside down and had been trailing pieces of licorice behind me all the way from my car. Oh well, if the janitors don't pick them up I suppose the mice will attend to their disposal.