24 Hour

I've spent my fair share of time in gyms. I'm not saying this to brag, but merely to give more credit to my assertion that gyms attract weirdos. Sometimes I wonder if it's more that there's something about going to the gym that causes otherwise normal people to do weird things, or perhaps it's that there's something about the gym that puts weird people's weirdness on full display. I'm not sure.

Whatever the reason, I've seen a lot of strange people in gyms. For instance there was a guy at the BYU gym who routinely sported a sparkly purple plastic headband. Nothing else about the guy seemed at all feminine, just his headband. In the LBC I had the misfortune of meeting a man who approached me to tell me that he had been observing my workout and wanted to let me know that I have a nice rear. As though that wasn't creepy enough, he then reassured me that he was going to be working out with something to write with for the next little while so that he could get my phone number. I told Sarah and Jared about it later, and Jared said he was worried for his safety, since "the poor dude is going to be working out with a writing utensil." I mixed up my workout schedule a bit, and thankfully never saw him again. The LBC gym was also the location where I observed a man who would stand near the walkway to the ladies dressing room, and every time a woman approached he would dart out in front of her and do some strange little dance, all the while rapping outloud to his ipod. Something about pimps. In HB gym I spotted a man going around critiquing other people's form. Needless to say, he wasn't really popular with the other members. There was also a guy in the HB gym...no wait, that was a woman, but I swear she was on steroids. Had it not been for the sports bra I would have put money down that she was a man. A pretty buff man at that, although she looked like a buff chain smoker, a look that I have yet to see duplicated. Also in the HB gym there was a guy who wore one of those radio headphones, you know, the kind with the big dial over one ear, with an antennae sticking up a couple of inches. He didn't just wear this headset though, he sang along with whatever was playing as well.

All that was topped yesterday. I was at the HB gym again when this man strolled through the door. He was wearing workout pants, a jacket and a helmet. I kept watching him, waiting for him to remove the jacket and helmet, but it never happened. That's right, he was working out in a motorcycle helmet, but not just any motorcycle helmet. I motorcycle helmet with a headlamp mounted on the front. He looked like he was preparing to tunnel his way out of the rubble, should the building unexpectedly collapse. I'll give this to him though, it take a lot of self-confidence to go workout in that gear, all the while appearing to be completely oblivious to rude people like me who can't keep from unabashadely staring.